Thing a Day 22

Fezzik and Inigo take Westley to Miracle Max.


Inigo: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?

Max: The king’s stinking son fired me. And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We’re closed! Beat it or I’ll call the brute squad!

Fezzik: I’m on the brute squad.

Max: You are the brute squad.

Inigo: We need a miracle. It’s very important.

Max: Look, I’m retired. And besides, why would you want someone the king’s stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you wanted me to miracle.

Inigo: He’s already dead.

Max: He is, huh? I’ll take a look. Bring him in.


Max: I’ve seen worse.

He tells Fezzik and Inigo that their friend is only mostly dead, not all dead. He and his wife Valerie make a miracle pill.


Valerie: The chocolate coating makes it go down easier, but you have to wait fifteen minutes for full potency, and he shouldn’t go in swimming for at least an hour.


Valerie: Bye bye, boys!

Max: Have fun storming the castle!

Valerie: Think it’ll work?

Max: It would take a miracle.



  1. Susan Brandt

    “m” for miracle. Oh, my god that made me laugh!

  2. I’ve enjoyed following this all month. Great job.

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