Thing a Day 20


Yellin: The Thieves’ Forest is emptied. Thirty ducks guard the castle gate.

Humperduck: Double it. My princess must be safe.

Yellin: The gate has but one key, and I carry that.


Humperduck: Ah, my dulcet darling. Tonight, we marry. Tomorrow morning your men will escort us to Florin Channel, where every ship in my armada waits to accompany us on our honeymoon.


Butterquack: Every ship but your four fastest, you mean. Every ship but the four you sent.

Humperduck: Yes, yes, of course. Naturally not those four.

Butterquack: You never sent the ships. Don’t bother lying. Doesn’t matter. Westley will come for me anyway.

Humperduck: You’re a silly girl.

Butterquack: Yes, I am a silly girl, for not having seen sooner that you are nothing but a coward with a heart full of fear.

Humperduck: I would not say such things if I were you!

He locks her in her room and runs to the Pit of Despair.


Humperduck: You truly love each other, and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say. so I think no duck in a century will suffer as greatly as you will.

He turns The Machine on its highest setting.


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